Choice

The first not about he choice is: we always a choice. Even if it does not look that way. We often choose an easy way out, by looking for the reasons of our inconvenience at the bystanders or in the past. However, imagine yourself that this is exactly the way it should be. What if everything what happens to you is a lesson that you may experience in life? Or by calling it a lesson your find a new excuse not to feel anything? Well this is not how I think about it. You are responsible for all the choices in your life. Work you do, has been chosen by you, relationship you have right now, has also been chosen by you. However, all you have chosen for you did with the resources that you had had at that time. It is possible you will not make the same choice now. Make then another choice now. Before you make this new choice, give yourself permission to wonder whether you might learn something from the current situation. And ask yourself, does it hurt, where does it hurt and how does it feel. If you find it difficult to feel the pain, which is always there on the background on your own, you are most welcome to ask for our help. (www.journeytherapeut.nl) or any other therapist. When I look at to my own situation, then abuse always comes up. Even in that particular situation I had a choice, I could have restricted it to one time, by telling about it to my parents (I was not allowed to) and I could offer much more resistance then I did, as a result of which none of this abuse would have happened. I could use all the energy I had then, to say NO. I have done neither of those, and have chosen for a victim model. I am not doing it anymore and therefore those things are not happening in my life anymore.

Through the eyes of a child

Imagine that everyone looks at you like a child looks at his parents: in admiration and devotion, as only a child can look. Looks that a full of child imagination at the world in which everything is possible and with full confidence in the adult world: Mature, secure, world full of possibilities. If everyone around you would see you like that, how would it really be? What would you say about yourself and what would you think about yourself? How would your place in the world would be, how would you really look at yourself? What would you tell yourself? Would it help you to assist, and show gratitude? What would happen to your self-confidence, your self-esteem, your love, and how would the world around you look like? I wonder why we often choose to look at ourselves with an eyes of grownups, or in the worst cases with the eyes of our parents. These inner mirrors are so real and so secure that we take them for granted. Nobody have given us another example, nobody have taught us that there multiple ways in which the world and me in the world can be perceived. Even if we look at the world and our own image from our own perspective it still might be influenced by our past experience. Only a child innocence is pure and not yet troubled by any layer of resistance or impurity. Take some time to play with this idea and enjoy together with your inner child.